Hans Married

Hans MarriedSummary

Hans Married is a tale about Hans and I know you’re thinking, “Good Lord, someone let this idiot get married!” I’m thinking exactly the same thing.

Once upon a time there was a peasant named Hans whose uncle wanted to find him a rich wife. He sat Hans behind the stove, gave him a pot of milk and white bread, and then fave him a newly minted farthing. He tells Hans to hold onto the farthing, crumble the bread into the milk, and stay where exactly where he is until the uncle returns.

The uncle goes to rich peasant’s house, again, what the heck does that mean? He suggest to this rich peasant that maybe the rich peasant’s daughter should marry his nephew. The rich peasant asks why. The uncle goes on to say that his nephew has a snug berth, a nice bit of money in hand, plenty of bread and quite as many patches as the uncle has. The uncle was wearing a pair of patched trousers, but the rich peasant took patches to mean patches of land. The uncle pretty much says, “You can check him out yourself if you want to.” The rich peasant doesn’t want to pass up a good deal, so he agrees.

The wedding is celebrated and the young wife went outside to survey the property of her husband. Hans takes off his good coat, saying that he doesn’t want to spoil it, and puts on his patched coat. Hans would point at a piece of land, as he and his new wife were walking, and then he would slap patch on his jacket and say that patch belonged to him. This entire time, he means the patches on his jacket and not the patches of land.

Then there is this paragraph.

” “Were you at the wedding too? “Yes, indeed I was there, and in full dress. My head-dress was of snow; then the sun came out, and it was melted. My coat was of cobwebs, and I had to pass by some thorns which tore it off me; my shoes were of glass, and I trod on a stone and they said, “Klink,” and broke in two.” “

The End


I’m confused about what the last paragraph is supposed to mean. I don’t know who is asking who what. The story does say Hans asked this part of the question or the bride asked this part of the question. So I am kind of leaning towards the idea that the bride is just as poor as Hans, but she mentions that her finery was dissolved.

Lies and half-truths abound in this story. They’re not technically lies, but they’re not the whole truth. Sure, Hans did have some money in hand, but it didn’t mean what the rich peasant thought it meant.

Again, what is a rich peasant? I’m pretty sure, that by definition, a peasant cannot be rich.


If I go with my idea that Hans’ bride is just as poor as he is, then we have an idea here. We have this idea that Hans used half-truths to get a wife and his new wife used half-truths to get a husband. What he did, merits what he got.

There isn’t much to this story. Hans lies, the uncle lies, the rich peasant lies, and the bride lies. Lie, lie, lie, the end. They all deserve each other.


Hans is stupid.

About The Author


There's way too much to write in this tiny space, but let's be short about this. Ashe is the creator, maintainer, and writer of One-Elevenbooks and has been since 2011. She likes to make artwork and write novels. She also likes the outside, in general. Ashe has a BA in Fine Arts and a BS in Information Technology.

Blog Comments

Of course Hans is stupid – that’s Hans’ thing. Hans acts as a foil to the reader: we all feel smart compared to him! 😉

Everyone is quite smart compared to Hans! I guess it’s not too bad to read a story that makes you feel smarter.

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