I think most of us get older and realize that there was probably more we could have done with our youth, but none of us really ever get a chance to re-live those days. So we know we just have to try better from here on out. The man in this tale gets a second chance.
Once upon a time in the days when the Lord walked the earth with St. Peter they came upon an old beggar man outside of a Smith’s shop. The smith was obliging and let the Lord and St. Peter stay there for the night. The beggar asked for some food. St. Peter suggested to the Lord that his ailments be healed so he could get food for himself. Apparently the Lord thought this was a great idea. The Lord took the old man and asked if he could borrow the smith’s equipment. He put the man in the fire and heated it and heated it. The man glowed red. The Lord took him out of the forge fire and put him in a cooling tub, then blessed him. The man now looked as if he were twenty. He praised the Lord and everyone went on their way.
The smith had an aged mother-in-law who wanted to be young again. She suggested to the smith that he had observed everything the Lord had done and he could turn her young again. The smith thought it would be good to try this out. He put her in the fire, but instead of getting younger she burned all the while screaming murder. He took her out, put her in the cooling tub which sizzled and she was more wrinkled than ever. The smith’s wife and daughter-in-law came down the stairs because of the commotion. They were both pregnant at the time and the shock of seeing the mother-in-law in such a state caused them to go into labor. Both the children were born that night, both boys, but they were not regular children. They were covered in hair. The children took off and ran into the woods almost as soon as they were born and from them descended the apes.
Riddle me this Batman, how do two male creatures produce an entire species of animal? Don’t you kind of need a male and female? Is this story suggesting that somehow the species of apes came about because of a pair of homosexual ape-men? I guess that would be something some backwards thinking hick might suggest… people and their phobias and stereotypical assumptions.
Why do people think the Lord walked the Earth during the time of blacksmiths? Well, I guess he’s the Lord and he can walk the Earth any darn time he pleases. I don’t really get this trend that people want to put God among themselves. Well, I do get it, people want to personalize God, but this story suggests that this was a long, darn time ago. How long ago? Apparently, it was so long ago that apes didn’t exist yet. That’s a long, long time ago. Maybe God did walk the Earth then, but even if we’re looking at this from a purely religious standpoint, all the animals were created before man. On the sixth day man was created after all the creatures of the Earth had already been created, then woman as the crowning creation. So Biblically, this story is inaccurate. Evolutionarily, this story is also inaccurate. According to evolutionary theory the ape came before the man. So on two accounts this story is wrong, wrong, wrong.
I am not of an age where I want to be young again. I hated being 16. I hated being 18. I hated being 23, which is the age everyone says they would want to go back to; I sure as heck don’t want to. I am more of the opinion that I am a better me each year that passes. I don’t feel as if I have necessarily lost anything by not doing such and such thing in my youth. Let’s see, many art contests, good grades, good SAT scores, early college, two college degrees, piano, plays, vocal training, working in health care for three years, practically raising my two youngest brothers, living overseas for three years, and much more…you know, I don’t necessarily think I have anything I am ashamed of for not doing, unless it’s being a little more wild and a little less responsible. I do not have a desire to be younger. There are people my age who do though and it flummoxes me. I can’t comprehend why they would want to be any younger.
People are obsessed with this idea of perpetual youth. They want to look young forever. We’re not supposed to look young forever. We’re supposed to get old, and then, we’re supposed to die. That’s how life works. If you don’t like the way your life turned out, then you should have made some better choices, granted there are situations in which life just throws crap and lemons at you without any sugar and when that happens it’s hard to win even if you try really, really hard.
This mother-in-law wants to be young and hot again. She persuades her son-in-law to try it out. Surely, he absorbed the secret to making a person young again. Here’s the thing–the Lord chose to make the old man young again, but he did not choose to make the old woman young again. The old man had no desire other than to eat, but the old woman surely had some ulterior motive. There are really two facets to this scenario. Firstly, the Lord was the only one with the power to make a person young again. Nobody granted this power to the black smith. Secondly, the reward would come to those who deserved it and would use it wisely. The old man is going to find food for himself, but maybe he’s going to nearest whore house to spend every bit of money he makes, I don’t know. The deal is, the old woman sought this out, but the old man did not. There are many times in life where that is how it works. If you don’t seek something, it comes to you. If you do seek something, it doesn’t come to you. It’s like waiting for a pot of water to boil; if you watch it, it’s going to take forever.
A word on proper authority–this is a big deal. Some people have the power or authority to do certain things while others do not. If you want to get married, you have to be married by an ordained minister or judge, you can’t get married by the guy driving the ice cream truck; he doesn’t have the proper authority. The Lord had the authority in this story, while the black smith did not. End of story.
I don’t think this story accurately explains where apes came from. I’m glad the person who made up this story doesn’t write text books.